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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22846225">Letters to a cute boy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missshippingowner/pseuds/Missshippingowner'>Missshippingowner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>iKON (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Character, Asexual Yunhyeong, Asexuality, Best Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, He is trying his best, Jay - Freeform, Jinhwan is just a concerned friend, Jinhwan just wants the best for his friend, Jinhwan really loves espresso, M/M, No this is not betad because mommy didn't raise no weak bitch, Other, Song - Freeform, They aren't iKON, Valentine's Day, Yunhyeong just wants someone to love him, Yunhyeong wants romance but the admirer wants something else, alternative universe, so cute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:56:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22846225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missshippingowner/pseuds/Missshippingowner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a secret admirer really sounds amazing at first glance. Yunhyeong thinks so too.<br/>Cute post it notes, romantic letters, love declarations... How much more dreamy can you get?</p><p>Jinhwan is a bit more concerned. This guy or girl knows stuff about Yunhyeong that no one else could possibly know! Thats not romantic, thats creepy! Why can't his best friend just... Understand that?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jinhwan/Song Yunhyeong, Song Yunhyeong/Secret Admirer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Letters to a cute boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this for the iKON Amino but liked it so much that I decided to post it on here too.<br/>So... Happy very, very late Valentines Day yall!</p><p>It's my first story here so please don't be too harsh! ^^</p><p> </p><p>I hope you enjoyyy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I just think it's creepy, thats all I'm saying." Jinhwan shook his head and took a quick sip of espresso.<br/>
<br/>
"You're letting this stuff blow into your head. This has been going on for more than two months and you act like it's some kind of romantic courting but it's probably just some creepy softboy who thinks he can get into your pants by manipulating your emotions." "Thank you Siegmund Freud."<br/>
Jinhwan shrugged. "If you don't want to hear my opinion why did you want to meet? You know what I think about this... Admirer." Yunhyeong whined. "Cause you're my best friend and I need your opinion regarding everything, duh." He pouted, stirring his coffee.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The two were sitting in their go-to café, talking about their plans for the weekend, laughing at stupid memes and just enjoying their free afternoon.<br/>
Or at least they tried to, because no matter what the two talked about, the topic would always somehow change path until it landed on Yunhyeongs 'secret admirer'.<br/>
<br/>
A topic that Jinhwan didn't want to spend too much time on. Even if some of the messages that his best friend received were quite romantic, it was still sketchy.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The first message was a simple:
<i>"You are too breathtaking to be real"<i><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong had found it on the front of his backpack two months ago. He thought it was a joke at first. Someone wanted to make fun of him, or maybe the message was for someone else and was just accidentally stuck onto his bag.<br/>
But the next day, he found another sticky note, this time on top of his bag. How did it get there? Who could have stuck it there without being obvious?<br/>
It continued for two weeks. Another day, another sticky note. Even when Yunhyeong tried to remember every single person who touched his bag- without meaning to or not, he still couldn't figure out who the mysterious person was. Every single note was also written with a different pen, paper and handwriting. There was no way he could even guess the gender.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
After two weeks he received his first letter. It wasn't a hand written one, sadly. It was a printed letter, written in Arial. Jinhwan had groaned when Yun had proudly announced that his secret admirer wasn't just writing small notes anymore. Now they had 'upgraded' onto real letters. Yunhyeong was ecstatic. He had never received a love letter before and this one was ''really romantic and sweet Wan I swear. See!'' Jinhwan wasn't impressed at all. He already found the sticky notes creepy enough and now this person started writing letters too?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"You're just jealous because your girlfriend doesn't write you letters. This person is really putting effort into this! If I just wait long enough he or she will reveal themselves and we could date for real. Even if I don't know what they could do to make me happier than I already am."<br/>
The other had to hold himself back from throwing his cup across their table.<br/>
<br/>
"First of all, she is not my girlfriend, second of all you still don't grasp any of this. Yun, he or she is writing a lot about very personal stuff. Personal stuff that no one other than me and you know about! How is that possible?" "Maybe I talked about some with other people. You're not the only person I talk to!" The other snorted, stacking their plates on the table.<br/>
<br/>
"Oh really? Than who other than me knows about your fall from the stairs last year? We told everyone else you fell from your bike, because you were too embarrassed to confess that you simply couldn't see them clearly but didn't want glasses."<br/>
Yunhyeong rolled a napkin between his fingers. Jinhwan was right. No one but his parents and his best friend knew about his accident. But maybe he had just... Forgotten that he had told someone else. Maybe at a party, where he was drunk out of his mind. It didn't happen often but it did.<br/>
"I have probably told a friend and just forgot about it. I could've been drunk-" "Yeah, but you've never blacked out before. You would remember that!" "Maybe I've forgotten that I've remembered-" "You're grasping again. Stop finding excuses, this person knows stuff they shouldn't, let's go to the police. You kept all of the sticky notes, there could still be some fingerprints." Yun huffed and chuckled. It seemed like his best friend was on some kind of hunt now. "They are just letters! You don't know every detail of my life. I definitely DID tell someone-" "Well okay then, what about the fact that they know your favourite coffee bean label and degree of roasting? How is THAT not creepy?" "They pay attention to my preferences. Thats cute, not creepy."<br/>
<br/>
Jinhwan glared him down. He really liked the positiveness of Yun, he really did. But sometimes, he was too naive and friendly for his own good.<br/>
<br/>
The 'secret admirer' had written a lot about Yunhyeongs childhood and had used impressive inside information, impossible to know for any normal friend.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Well if they keep track of your preferences so well how come they haven't noticed your sexuality? Seems pretty important to me."<br/>
<br/>
"They did! These are overdramatic, passionate confessions. Of course it's a bit over the top." "Yunhyeong, they wrote about your kissable lips and breathtaking, sultry body. For someone who seems to know everything about you, thats hella weak." Now it was Yunhyeongs turn to shrug. "That doesn't mean they just want to get into my pants." "Thats exactly what it means. They do not know you or they would have known you're ace. You're out since your fifteenth birthday after all", he retorted with crossed arms.<br/>
<br/>
"You're twisting their words!"<br/>
<br/>
"I'm not!"<br/>
<br/>
"You are! Why can't you just accept the fact that my admirer likes me for who I am? They accept me with all my mistakes and edges."<br/>
<br/>
"But they don't. None of the letters have been about your intelligence or your hard work in the school council, or your acting abilities, or your... Personality. Yeah, you know. The facets that define who you are. As an individual. Your interests-" "Bu-" "The choir is clearly not your only interest is it? But it's the only thing they have mentioned. And they sexualized it too. Oh what a sexy voice you have, pulling them in like a siren. Erm, ew."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
🔍🔍🔍<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"No one has... Ever written me a love letter before. Or two, or eight." "I know."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong was barely holding back his tears. He wasn't stupid, he can interpret meaning behind words too.<br/>
<br/>
"I just... Wanna be loved too okay? I wanna... I wanna have a relationship too. Why do I have to be asexual Wan? If I could... Be normal like every other guy everything would be better."<br/>
<br/>
"Oh Yun, come here."<br/>
<br/>
The waitress looked a bit worried while she was taking their plates but Jinhwan just shook his head and mouthed a 'thank you' in her direction, squeezing his best friend who was crying silently in his arms. She gave him a sympathetic look and left.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"I want this to be real Wan. I want a real relationship." "I know, but this won't be it and you know that." The other sniffed. "Maybe it's all a metaphor."<br/>
<br/>
<i>Your sultry eyes cast a spell on my weak heart and your passionate body attracts my soul and whole being with a fire that can't be put into words. I'm defensless against your sinful hips and overpowering aura of beauty.<i><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"When you read it out like that it sounds horrible."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong rubbed his puffed eyes and cuddled closer. He let his best friend brush a hand through his now ruffed hair. Sometimes he really did hate himself.<br/>
<br/>
Jinhwan laughed. He read through some lines of the letter again, shaking his head softly. Mostly everything was about his best friends beauty, his ability to make the writer 'shake with want' or his seemingly friendly personality. Of course Yunhyeong would fall for such bullshit.<br/>
The words were romantic- probably stolen from a few tumblr posts, but romantic. And Yunhyeong was a sucker for romantic words, mostly poems but these letters were close enough.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"He or she probably stole everything anyway. All these letters look like wanna be tumblr posts."<br/>
<br/>
His best friend shook his head, released the thight grip on his waist and sniffed again. He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm better, thank you. And some tumblr posts are way more romantic than this. At least they don't sexualize me." He smiled, snatching the letters back. "You're right. I shouldn't... I shouldn't get my hopes up."<br/>
<br/>
"There is nothing wrong with hoping. I just don't want you to be devastated when he or she isn't... The way you want them to be. You shouldn't let yourself be reduced to your appearance. You're so much more Yun. You are dedicated to your friends and family, cunning, you balance tension out, you always keep a cool head even when everyone else is almost killing each other, you are amazing at comforting people, you're amazing with emotions in general, you always know what to say- how to make someone feel important and special. You are very emotional- but thats not a bad thing. You are such a sunshine, always smiling. Trying to make everyone happy. It's always a blessing to spend time with you, even when it's just the two of us silently drinking coffee. Of course you have flaws too. We all do. Sometimes when you are working or learning, you want everything to be too perfect and forget to eat or drink. And then you faint and wonder why. You are also pedantic, like an old teacher. Ow! Don't hit me! It's true. You also eat such weird stuff sometimes. Like a pregnant women. And you're way too detailed when it comes to anything artistic. Annoying as hell."<br/>
<br/>
"You're annoying as hell."<br/>
"Just for you. But seriously. You are more than your sultry lips. Ow, no. Don't cry. I'm serious." "I know." Yunhyeong hugged him again, but this time way tighter. "Thank you Whan. I love you so much." "I love you too."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"And there is nothing wrong with being ace either. You can't control what you feel. If you aren't interested in more than making out, then thats okay. You will find someone who appreciates you for who you are. You don't need a secret admirer who just wants to get into your pants." Yunhyeong almost sobbed. "I wish I knew who it was. Then I could simply tell them to stop. I feel like I have a letter addiction already." Jinhwan chuckled. "We can treat you, don't worry."<br/>
<br/>
They parted, both glowing with contentment. "Want another espresso? My treat." "Of course it's your treat. I'm your emotional support after all. I deserve a salary."<br/>
<br/>
"Hey!"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
After the order of coffees both men were ready for some more serious talk.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
What do I do when they know, but don't understand?", asked the younger. He nipped on his cup, sighing contently. "Then you make them understand. Explain it to them. If they are truly the one for you, they will understand. It will take some time, so you have to be patient. But hard work pays off. And if it doesn't... Screw them, you deserve better."<br/>
<br/>
"Better like who?"<br/>
"Better like someone who loves you for you. Someone who doesn't care about how often you will sleep with them." Yun smiled softly, resting his head on his hand. He ogled Jinhwan a bit.<br/>
<br/>
"But before you do that you start with loving yourself." Yun stopped smiling. "But I do!" "Clearly not enough. Whenever the s word is even slightly mentioned, you're so tense it's unbelievable. You know you can't force yourself to be turned on right?" "I knooow, I've tried. Didn't work."<br/>
<br/>
"And thats fine. Nobody is allowed to tell you anything different."<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong sighed. Sometimes his best friend was hopeless. No matter how often you try to soothe him, when he was worried he was worried. "I... I know. You know that I know! Like you said, I came out when I was fifteen and I never made a mystery out of it. I'm just... Unsure, because I never had a real relationship. I... Almost had one once." He cringed.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"You know how that went. I want romance this time. Flowers, chocolate, poems, kisses at the door, movie evenings, date nights, all that good stuff. And this... Secret admirer sounds exactly like what I want."<br/>
<br/>
"Minus the more than kissing part." Yunhyeong nodded.<br/>
<br/>
"I mean we could try to do more and see with how much I'm comfortable with. But I don't have much hope." Jinhwan took a deep sip, almost finishing his espresso. He chewed on his bottom lip and took one of the letters again. Wiggling the piece of paper in front of the others face, he frowned and sighed.<br/>
<br/>
"Read those again and tell me you think they are really as romantic as you make them out to be. I've read them twice and it gets worse with every line. Wait. Right here:<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<i>To be or not to be. A question that means so much and so little at the same time. Do we really exist, just to be? Or are we, just to exist? Sometimes when I'm alone, I think about all that and want to find out what these words mean. Is life even worth living when you just exist? What could make it better? I think that a true love could. Maybe you could.<i><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
No Yunhyeong don't smile, thats ew. Thats the fakest shit ever. Even Hamlet wouldn't like this and he is like... The king of sad tumblr posts."<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong grinned now. "They probably read that sentence and thought: How much corny stuff can I milk outta that? Say the same stuff three times in a row? Sounds good to me", he declared, huffing in a disappointed manner.<br/>
<br/>
"Nothing about this is truly romantic. You can't just slap a few sentences with love and soulmates onto a piece of paper and expect it to make everyone swoon. Hamlet would have stabbed this author. This is not even the meaning of 'to be or not to be'." His opponent smirked. Maybe this whole case wasn't hopeless after all. "So you agree with me? I think I need a slap. Ow! Not a kick, a slap. In a metaphorical way. I can't believe you agreed that they sucked at something." "Well at least in this case. The others are fine, mostly."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"I knew it. You're truly a lost case."<br/>
"Hey! Don't forget that this whole thing had started two months ago. I'm tired of waiting. I want romance and I want it now." Jinhwan tore the letter, the other wanted to protest but he was faster.<br/>
"Then stop waiting. A letter every three days for the last two months and the content is either a love declaration for your body or a misinterpretation of a 'romantic quote'. This admirer knows nothing about you. Not even your bed preferences. Thats laughable. I bet you anything if you would wear you shirt that says 'I'm asexual, get over it' to uni for a day you wouldn't receive a letter again. You've owned that shirt for like years and have worned it like once."<br/>
<br/>
"Anything? What about paying for our pizzas for... Let's say two months. To keep the meaning."<br/>
<br/>
"Sure. I'm not scared of losing."<br/>
<br/>
"And when you win?"<br/>
<br/>
"You pay for our next two coffee dates. But the long ones, not the ones through lunch break."<br/>
<br/>
"Deal. You have too much money anyway."<br/>
<br/>
"Excuse you? Not everyone can be as broke as you are. But thats a good point, yesterday Woo came up to me-"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
A comfortable silence enveloped them as they both left the café. Wrapped up in coats and scarves, already snarking sarcastic comments to each other. Happiness was seeping through the air.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Two weeks later they met up in the café again.<br/>
<br/>
Jinhwan hadn't want to ask throughout the time, but he really wanted to know what the newest letters said. And if Yun had gotten any in general. Now, sitting right across his best friend, he just exploded.<br/>
<br/>
"So what did the newest letter say? Did I win? Do we finally know who it is?" Yunhyeong smirked. "Let me order our coffees first."<br/>
<br/>
"Yun!" But the other boy just smirked harder and stood up. Jinhwan almost growled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.<br/>
<br/>
He had been late by ten minutes which means the other had purposely waited until he was fully seated to order their coffees. Did that mean he had received letters? Or did he already had a date with his admirer? Was he in a... Relationship already? But Yunhyeong wouldn't do all that without consulting him first right? Right?! He rather not imagined Yunhyeong being all excited and happy with someone that wasn't him.<br/>
Or of course his other friends.<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong was special. He deserved everything. This wasn't about their friendship or Jinhwans feelings, this was about Yun being comfortable and happy. Even if it meant that he dated his secret admirer. Jinhwan wasn't good at romantic things anyway. But it had always been important for the other. Jinhwan accepted that.<br/>
Life isn't a movie. Just because you're best friends doesn't mean it would work out if you were partners. Jinhwan was content where he was. He knew that one day, Yunhyeong will find someone romantic. Someone that would fit right into his perfect partner description. Even if it would hurt, Jinhwan would be happy for him.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
His best friend returned with two coffee cremas. After putting the cups down, Yunhyeong reached into his backpack, pulling out a whole stack of papers. He slamed them onto the table, hastly looking around if the sound had been too loud. It hadn't.<br/>
<br/>
"What is this?"<br/>
<br/>
"Count."<br/>
<br/>
"What, why? You can just tell me that you won. Don't be mean."<br/>
<br/>
"Do it."<br/>
<br/>
Jinhwan tsked and counted.<br/>
"Nineteen" "And how many did I show you?" "Well... Eighteen." Yunhyeond nodded.<br/>
<br/>
"You're kidding. Wha- what? You re- what?"<br/>
<br/>
"I received the last one, one day after our coffee date. I'm pretty sure it was already placed in my locker. I wore the shirt one day after that. The week goes by- no new letter or sticky notes. The second week goes by- same thing."<br/>
<br/>
"Oh my god."<br/>
<br/>
"But before you express your concerns: I am not that sad about it. Yeah it was pretty cool, having a secret admirer who writes you love letters every three days. But I've honestly gained so much self respect from this. Why did I wait for so long? I am so much more worth than this... Creepy try of romance.<br/>
<br/>
I was so scared of being rejected because of my sexuality that I became desperate in the process. Thats a toxic mix. So I've decided to be even more open. Express my wants and ideas of what I want in a relationship more clearly. A relationship means two people and both are equally important. If someone wants to have sex and becomes uninterested, because it's important for them, then thats fine. We wouldn't have worked out anyway. So it's better to not even try.<br/>
<br/>
In case of my secret admirer: I am working on my feelings and try to not care much. They probably really had no idea and quickly decided to end it before it can start. I'm disappointed, not gonna lie. I cried a lot. But I'm better now.<br/>
They can find someone that fits to them and I can find someone that fits to me. Better than starting to date someone who was just with me because my hips don't seem to lie."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Well, I have to find that out for myself."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong eyes grew twice in size but he catched himself quickly. "Very funny, very funny. I hold a wholeass monologue about respecting myself and thats the first thing you can come up with?" "At least I wasn't lying. But seriously, I'm happy for you. I really am. You're glowing dude, thats fantastic."<br/>
<br/>
"Thank you. Who knows how long I would have waited if it wasn't for you."<br/>
"Years, definitely years."<br/>
"Well, I can't lie. Definitely years."<br/>
<br/>
Jinhwan gulped his coffee and smiled. "You will find someone. I don't even have to say 'I know it', because we both do."<br/>
<br/>
"Thank you for always supporting me." "Always."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"So... Wanna go to the park later and burn the letters?" Jinhwan snickered. "I thought you would never ask. But first we have to finish our coffee date." He winked and laughed.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Wanna have a real coffee date? I'm paying now, and you can pay for our pizzas later as agreed."<br/>
<br/>
"Wait what?"<br/>
<br/>
Yunhyeong laughed and retreated the letters back into his bag. Who needs a secret admirer when you can just go and ask someone out openly?<br/>
Well maybe most people, but not Yunhyeong.</i></i></i></i></i></i></p>
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